The Human Mirror

In September 2013, I was feeling completely defeated and disillusioned after facing the reality that I was not living in the “free society” that I had always believed in.  My sister and my young niece were being taunted, tormented and terrorized by the person who vowed to cherish and protect them.  Although I was accustomed to working with families in crisis and had a working knowledge of the Family Court process from both professional and personal experience, I had never witnessed the intensity of a serious stalker.  This person was indefatigable in his desire to get back his “property.”  Nobody who had contact with his wife or child was immune to his slanderous rage.  The years had not soothed his psychosis; in fact, he was becoming more determined to enact his revenge.  It became clear that his loss of control was turning him into a ticking time-bomb, and he felt he had nothing to live for.  My family worried that he would take his former family with him.

New York has anti-stalking laws, but they are obscure and rarely enforced, especially in rural areas with short-staffed police departments.  Small town prosecutors don’t want to touch these cases.  That was unacceptable to me, and though I could do little to protect my own family, I could tell others about the injustices faced by stalking victims.  I began blogging about the issues they face.  Having spent these past few years drawing attention to these inadequacies, I realized that they occur in every state, not just ours.  Through my data collection and research, I found that these problems have much deeper roots.  Not only do we have a systemic failure of protecting victims’ rights, but there is also a moral failure to acknowledge them at all.  We live in our fragile “bubbles,” where no harm can befall us until it actually DOES.

Our blissful ignorance leads to the social acceptance of terrible crimes.  Why?  Because we cannot handle the thought that evil does exist and nobody is immune to it.  People who are “nice guys” can become predators if they continue to feed dysfunctional thoughts and allow their primitive brain to take over.  In this case, my former brother-in-law took his own life and nobody else’s, thankfully.  But recent trends show us that increasingly, seriously disturbed individuals are taking other lives too.  After the fact, the stories are similar: a few warning signs, the family hadn’t worried about them, and the horrible sense of guilt that it all could have been prevented.  I think we are at a crossroads as a human race where what we do next will determine the future of our children and the type of society that they will live in.  We have an opportunity to move from denial and fear to acknowledgment and freedom.

It is for the children’s sake that I feel compelled to further explore these issues.  Therefore, I have decided to increase the focus of this community and changing our name to one that fully reflects this.  We will be called “The Human Mirror,” and I hope you will stick with us and support the new venture.  I have no plans to delete the Human Rights Vs. Stalkers site so those who need it will be able to find it.  We will still discuss victimization along with other current social issues.  The primary mission of saving lives will continue to guide us as we move forward, along with the vision to build an awareness of how our lives can become agents of social change in exciting new ways. Thank you for your support.

https://thehumanmirror.wordpress.com/

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Would you recognize stalking behavior?

Stalked

Stalking behavior has nearly become an “epidemic” in the US. Learned through interpersonal behaviors in the family and with peers, it is perhaps the most efficient way to get whatever it is that one wants. It is becoming common to see the behavior in business and government these days.

I challenge you to correctly identify it whenever you hear someone or some group of people being blamed. I promise that you will see your world much more clearly by doing so. When you are skilled at stalking behavior identification, please speak up and educate others about this nefarious social disorder that endangers the freedoms of all of us.

Thanks,
Tammy

Exit…Stage Right, Upon the Midnight Hour

“Don’t you know that a midnight hour comes when everyone has to take off his mask? Do you think life always lets itself be trifled with? Do you think you can sneak off a little before midnight to escape this?”
Søren Kierkegaard

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If we matter, then our words and actions carry substance too. Our existence within the Age of Virtual Reality, a period marked by digital innovations and rapid communications, keeps us safely tucked away behind our monitor screens. We become whatever we desire to be. Our avatars are not restricted to a face, and they abide in whatever scene best suits them.

Our virtual environment resembles a painter’s canvas, and is limited only by the reach of our imaginations. As social beings, we are compelled to piece our well-rounded lives inside compatible spaces, constructing a network of our own design. We strive to make our virtual life resemble our reality.

Yet, life does not come with a guaranteed number of perfectly shaped puzzle pieces, nor does it offer the smooth, stable surfaces necessary for the erection of a 3-D creation of our imagination. Whatever we do will affect those around us – this is one of nature’s laws. If we destroy our virtual neighbor’s property, we will face consequences for doing so. If we destroy people’s reputations online, we will be called out and confronted by our victims.

Everything we do is online is subject to the scrutiny of our peers. What is acceptable behavior within our neighborhood, may not be appropriate in a neighboring community of peers from diverse backgrounds. We might think it’s alright to exit…stage left, or to say, “goodnight folks; the show’s over!” But does our audience really believe us as they either shout for an encore, or continue throwing tomatoes at the stage?

You are the only person with the power to control your virtual performance, your setting, and your plot. You can contribute to your social network’s growth or it’s demise. That choice is yours alone. Just remember that the fabric of our society, whether online and offline, always has and always will depend specifically upon your choices and actions.