Women are supposed to be graceful and classy, not aggressive and loud, right? While we spend our time and energy achieving passive perfection, there are men who seek these traits in their classic victim. I can’t tell you how many times I have watched women absolutely destroyed by an ex because they didn’t want to be rude and unreasonable.
At the same time, the family court judges are ready to pounce on any “unladylike” behavior as a means of determining the “best interest of the children.” In other words, you are “damned if you do, and damned if you don’t” in the saga of removing your family from an abuser.
The solution lies in tactful planning and skillful precision. You almost need to become as manipulative as the abuser to outwit him. Yet, you must maintain your dignity in the face of the legal system. It isn’t easy, but the lives of you and your children depend on it.
Someday, when enough blood of women and children has been shed, people will rise up and demand change to the antiquated, patriarchal legal system that currently enables abusers. Survivors will unite and fight for our sisters, who bare the next generation of human beings. Until that day arrives, be safe and protect your family with your God-given wisdom.